Pre-STPM Days

Life~

Everyone says theres just 12 more days to the start of STPM, then there are those that is just looking forward to what happens a month from now. I don't know which I'd prefer. I want to get it over and done with but something tells me I'm just not ready. I flunked my SPM a couple of years back and this is definitely my last chance to redeem myself.

Some people can just buckle down, open a book and go through every paragraph, line and word of the content, well I can do that too but I can't do that for hours! Some people can, and I just don't know how. I am going insane. Then when I study, sometimes I will think of really emo things from the past. Madness.

So anyways, this isn't the point of me writing this post. Its been a while since I wrote anything so I thought of just adding more words to it. I went out with my very good friend Gaik Lyn the other day. Been ages since we spoke or seen each other. It was sorta happy and I guess I needed some contact with the outside world after spending days cooped up at home. We talked bout lotsa stuff but one topic hit me, and it hit me pretty hard. Actually theres two topics. First we spoke about friends. I've actually realised almost a year ago, that friends will eventually leave no matter how much you try to make it last. Sadly, I wanted everything to last but eventually they all have new friends, or some even introduce their friends to each other then form a bigger group then we got left out. Well, sucks but it happens I guess.

The second thing we spoke about probably reveals what an idiot I am. We spoke about how nice I am. Yes, I think I am a pretty nice guy. I help people when they ask for help. When they are down I would do my very best to cheer them up. When some of my friends fight, I would try to get them back together and forget bout the past. Its no easy task, to bring two people who had misuderstandings and get them to talk again or even play football. Maybe It wasn't my doing that made them friends again but I guess I had some part in it. But really, after all that I think I have done too much. I over-stepped the border and expected too much because when the times comes and I need friends that would back me up no matter what, I find it hard to believe that I have so few. That night out with Gaik Lyn helped me realise a few things. One of them was that I like getting into people's problem and helping out. I should just mind my f*cking business and not care. Yes I should.

12 more days to STPM and 29 more days to freedom. To be honest, some people are already looking forward to their post-STPM days, me? Not so much cuz I have no idea what I am going to do. I have my own plans tho so I guess I still have something to look forward too.

cyen/tristan